I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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