Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
