I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
