I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
