I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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