the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
