i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
