I think I died a long time ago.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
