Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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