Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
