Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
