i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
