3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
