i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
