just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
