You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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