6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
