I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
