I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
