I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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