Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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