i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
