You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
