Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
