Will you blow on my dice?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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