it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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