We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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