i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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