it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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