if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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