Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
