Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
