ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
