really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
