You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
