Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
