My first STD was from a foam party
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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