You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
