I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
