My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
