Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
