so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
