Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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