he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
