To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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