She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize