Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i think my cat just said my name.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
