apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
