i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
