nut hugger
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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